I do find it interesting that as society goes on a war against “toxic” masculinity, people are simultaneously losing their minds, becoming aggressive and unkind and don’t know how to behave in public. The NICER people are told they have to be, the angrier they get, like how a people pleaser says yes yes yes until they explode. I think society is undergoing tremendous shifts, some good, some bad, but as previous boundaries shift or erode, I think aggression is a natural response, even if an healthy one. (Because anger is an emotional response indicating violated boundaries.) In a lot of ways we’re becoming weaker as a society - physically and emotionally. People have public meltdowns or post them on social media for likes. That wouldn’t be in the realm of normal even 10 years ago. When people feel weak, they feel disempowered and lack the ability to direct their aggression in healthy ways, so it becomes destructive. I think the way the media and politicians and even celebrities poke and prod everyone to hate each other so they can stay in power has also been extraordinarily destructive while also triggering the upheaval that’s unleashed much of this unhealthy expression of aggression.
I agree with your comment completely, Suzanne! I also see the normalization of aggression through the (social) media and am very sad about how aggression is naturally associated with more attention (a form of reward!) these days. Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment, I highly appreciate it (apologies that I only now have the time to reply)!
I think more aggression shows an unraveling of society and societal norms. Years ago when graffiti was starting to come on strong, I read that though it doesn't seem like a big deal, it's more or less the 'gateway drug' for the unraveling of a society. It begins small—graffiti— but leads to larger issues and breaking larger norms. In San Francisco, the city had trucks equipped with paint and materials to immediately re-paint the walls, buildings that had been defaced. I thought it was clever b/c those who'd tagged the buildings could no longer see their work displayed. On another note, human kindness is almost becoming an anomaly. Call me old-fashioned but we don't want to become Mad Max too soon. That will come in time (:
Fully agree with you, Jeanine! Your comments are always, without exception, super spot on. I like your graffiti example, it's a perfect one: The less society punishes aggression and lets it slip, the more it becomes part of our society. About Mad Max: We share the same objective here :-).
Thank you for this Katharina I agree with every single point you made. On the parenting point, I think lots of men have been let down by their parents in terms of how they should be expressing emotions. As a result men turn to aggression as an outlet. This is all a result of patriarchy.
Your comment really inspires me to write an article about patriarchy... Who decided that men shouldn't show any emotions? Not that men should be EXACTLY like women, but emotional awareness and literacy are super important for anymore. I always appreciate when men are authentic and not display what the media call "toxic masculinity". A lot of problems in relationships or even before that - in dating, especially in my generation and in Gen Z - stem from this in my view. Thank you so much for your kind comment, Bansi!
I agree with you Katharina men should be encouraged to be their authentic selves but unfortunately, patriarchy is so ingrained in them that they don’t know how to express themselves so they end up doing what they know. It takes a very self aware man to unlearn the toxic lessons. I always enjoy reading your work 😊🌹
After taking my daughter to visit her grandmother's( my mother's) grave site I received a dream.
The dream caused me to research and watch the latest Peter Pan release.
My mother as a child had taken me to see it during a trying time in our house. It left an impression!
The place of my mother's grave site was on an Island off the coast of Southern California coast where I had finished my life as a child to become an adult.
The dream was that I was shown a bag of marbles and heard a gentle & loving male voice say that "these are yours and that you had found them". Yes I had marbels as a lad.
This was the closing scene in the Peter Pan movie.
The lost boy had found his marbles.
I still smile and giggle inside when thinking about the dream.
Only one person could have orchestrated this dream.
I do find it interesting that as society goes on a war against “toxic” masculinity, people are simultaneously losing their minds, becoming aggressive and unkind and don’t know how to behave in public. The NICER people are told they have to be, the angrier they get, like how a people pleaser says yes yes yes until they explode. I think society is undergoing tremendous shifts, some good, some bad, but as previous boundaries shift or erode, I think aggression is a natural response, even if an healthy one. (Because anger is an emotional response indicating violated boundaries.) In a lot of ways we’re becoming weaker as a society - physically and emotionally. People have public meltdowns or post them on social media for likes. That wouldn’t be in the realm of normal even 10 years ago. When people feel weak, they feel disempowered and lack the ability to direct their aggression in healthy ways, so it becomes destructive. I think the way the media and politicians and even celebrities poke and prod everyone to hate each other so they can stay in power has also been extraordinarily destructive while also triggering the upheaval that’s unleashed much of this unhealthy expression of aggression.
I agree with your comment completely, Suzanne! I also see the normalization of aggression through the (social) media and am very sad about how aggression is naturally associated with more attention (a form of reward!) these days. Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment, I highly appreciate it (apologies that I only now have the time to reply)!
Great piece - lots of stuff that needs to be said. And it's always nice to meet a fellow HSP.
Thank you so much, Vanessa! Your words made my day! I wish you a great weekend!
I think more aggression shows an unraveling of society and societal norms. Years ago when graffiti was starting to come on strong, I read that though it doesn't seem like a big deal, it's more or less the 'gateway drug' for the unraveling of a society. It begins small—graffiti— but leads to larger issues and breaking larger norms. In San Francisco, the city had trucks equipped with paint and materials to immediately re-paint the walls, buildings that had been defaced. I thought it was clever b/c those who'd tagged the buildings could no longer see their work displayed. On another note, human kindness is almost becoming an anomaly. Call me old-fashioned but we don't want to become Mad Max too soon. That will come in time (:
Fully agree with you, Jeanine! Your comments are always, without exception, super spot on. I like your graffiti example, it's a perfect one: The less society punishes aggression and lets it slip, the more it becomes part of our society. About Mad Max: We share the same objective here :-).
So true! Thanks for posting, Katharina.
Thank you for this Katharina I agree with every single point you made. On the parenting point, I think lots of men have been let down by their parents in terms of how they should be expressing emotions. As a result men turn to aggression as an outlet. This is all a result of patriarchy.
Your comment really inspires me to write an article about patriarchy... Who decided that men shouldn't show any emotions? Not that men should be EXACTLY like women, but emotional awareness and literacy are super important for anymore. I always appreciate when men are authentic and not display what the media call "toxic masculinity". A lot of problems in relationships or even before that - in dating, especially in my generation and in Gen Z - stem from this in my view. Thank you so much for your kind comment, Bansi!
I agree with you Katharina men should be encouraged to be their authentic selves but unfortunately, patriarchy is so ingrained in them that they don’t know how to express themselves so they end up doing what they know. It takes a very self aware man to unlearn the toxic lessons. I always enjoy reading your work 😊🌹
After taking my daughter to visit her grandmother's( my mother's) grave site I received a dream.
The dream caused me to research and watch the latest Peter Pan release.
My mother as a child had taken me to see it during a trying time in our house. It left an impression!
The place of my mother's grave site was on an Island off the coast of Southern California coast where I had finished my life as a child to become an adult.
The dream was that I was shown a bag of marbles and heard a gentle & loving male voice say that "these are yours and that you had found them". Yes I had marbels as a lad.
This was the closing scene in the Peter Pan movie.
The lost boy had found his marbles.
I still smile and giggle inside when thinking about the dream.
Only one person could have orchestrated this dream.
I am thankful He did!
Thank God!
Hope ya'll find your marbles!