My favorite get-into-action quotes for self-respect and overcoming toxic relationships

Here's what really hit home for me

Photo by Filip Mroz on Unsplash.

I’ve touched a lot on the importance of setting boundaries on my Substack as they can not only protect us from potentially toxic situations but also increase our personal magnetism (remember: nothing is as attractive as someone who knows their worth and is willing to enforce it through standards).

There are a lot of fantastic online resources and coaches that I learned tremendously from, and in this post I want to share some of the most inspirational quotes on overcoming toxicity in our lives, on uncompromised self-respect and on standing by our limits.

These are important topics that are so fundamental for our wellbeing that they simply cannot be stressed enough. I’ve made these quotes mostly gender neutral (except the last ones from G.L. Lambert, which are very specifically written for women) so that all of you can relate.

Without further ado, let’s dive in!

Natasha Adamo - Win Your Breakup

… On toxic people.

“Regardless of how much you love and protect yourself, toxic people will show up at your door no matter what. They will continue to do so until the end of time. Even more so when they pick up on an energy of exclusivity. It is human nature to want an “in” to establishments that are just as selective with who is let in as they are with the quality in which the property is maintained. Toxic people are obsessed with scoring that “in”.”

… On self-deception in relationships.

“When it comes to relationships, the level to which you deceive yourself will always mirror the toleration you have for others deceiving you.”

… On interpreting rejection for what it is.

“But you need to remember that rejection is never personal when it comes to toxic exes; it's about them. […] They are [original: He's] rejecting the idea of becoming an evolutionary being. They are [original: He's] rejecting having to be honest, accountable, and responsible for anything other than inflating their [original: his] ego. Your relationship got to a point where they [original: he] knew things were being (reasonably) asked and expected of them [original: him]. And they [original: he] just couldn't deliver.”

***

Natalie Lue - Mr. Unavailable and the Fallback Girl

… On how to deal with boundary busters.

“You haven’t got time or energy to be repeatedly swatting off a boundary buster - a decent person in knowing that you find something unacceptable doesn't keep doing it. They’re [original: He's] not irreplaceable so don't act like they are [original: he is]. Anyone who will bust or test your boundaries just isn't that special.”

***

50 Cent and Robert Greene - The 50th Law

… On the importance of self-respect and asserting ourselves.

“THE WAY I LEARNED IT, THE KID IN THE SCHOOL YARD WHO DOESN'T WANT TO FIGHT ALWAYS LEAVES WITH A BLACK EYE. IF YOU INDICATE YOU'LL DO ANYTHING TO AVOID TROUBLE, THAT'S WHEN YOU GET TROUBLE.”

- 50 Cent

“When you submit in spirit to aggressors or to an unjust and impossible situation, you do not buy yourself any real peace.

[…] When you are humble, you reap the wages of humility. You must develop the opposite - a fighting stance that comes from deep within and cannot be shaken. You force some respect.”

***

George Orwell - 1984

… On modern (dystopian) toxicity.

‘“What can you do, thought Winston, against the lunatic who is more intelligent than yourself; who gives your arguments a fair hearing and simply persists in his lunacy?”’

Author’s note: Whenever we encounter people who are unwilling to truly listen, to learn and to evolve, we need to see them for what they truly are and not feel guilty about cutting our losses.

“O’Brien: ‘How does one man assert power over another?’

Winston Smith: ‘By making him suffer.’

O’Brien: ‘Exactly. Obedience is not enough. Power is inflicting pain and humiliation. Otherwise, you cannot be sure. Power is tearing human minds apart and putting them together again in new shapes of your own choosing.’”

Author’s note: Someone trying to exert power over us by treating us disrespectfully, humiliating or even manipulating us is never worth our time and emotional currency. Always remember: This is not true power, this is insecurity combined with a bad character. As Natalie Lue would say: “Flush!”

***

G.L. Lambert - Men Don’t Love Women Like You

To my male readers: The following quotes are more specifically geared towards women, but you might find them resonating and inspiring nonetheless!

… On the importance to not self-sacrifice, especially for women.

“Women are taught to sacrifice, to play nice, to live an altruistic life because a good girl is always rewarded in the end. This is not a virtue; it is propaganda. Submission gets you a ticket to future prosperity that will never manifest. By the time you realize the ticket to success and happiness you have been sold isn’t worth the paper it was printed on, it will be too late.

Go on, spend a quarter of your life, even half of your life, in the service of others and you will realize you were hustled.”

… On remembering who we are and what we need and deserve in romantic relationships.

“EVERY MORNING AND EVERY NIGHT REMEMBER TO REMEMBER:

You deserve the affection that you kept trying to pour into others.

You deserve the same motivation that you tried to inspire in others.

You deserve the high of happy, without the low of sadness.

[…]

You deserve the relaxation of trust, without the paranoia of betrayal.

You deserve to be confident, without the reminder to be humble.

You deserve to look at your reflection with eyes of awe, not judgment.

[…]

You deserve to be first, second, and third.

You deserve to have everything you want.

You deserve this power. It is who you are and who you will always be.

***

To learn how to increase my self-respect and to become more unapologetic in enforcing my boundaries, I personally didn’t need a hug from anybody, what I truly needed were empowering words like these to give me a metaphorical gentle slap in the face and to make me remember who I was and what I deserved.

The quality of our lives depends as much on what we have as it depends on the lack of negative influences.

We owe it to ourselves not to entertain people whose sole objective it seems to be to drain our energy. Powerful quotes like these always motivated and still to this day propel me to act, to improve my life and to work on my standards and boundaries even more.

I hope you may take inspiration from them if they resonate with you and may you never forget your worth. Cutting toxic people out of our lives is always a good idea, one that we will forever thank ourselves for down the road. LOVE. YOURSELF. FIRST.