Overthinking demystified: Why we can’t generally say it’s bad
The good, the bad, the ugly? In a world that’s often messy, complex and difficult, we must apply discernment when judging (over-)thinkers
I’ve always hated it when people, often strangers, said I shouldn’t overthink things so much. Ahem, I mean: What’s overthinking anyways? Is there actually a way to overthink?
By all accounts of my friends and to the best of my knowledge, I was just trying to be considerate and strategic, hence I needed to think about the consequences of my actions for others and myself. Besides, society seems to value thinking more than anything else: The terms Homo Sapiens, utility maximization and survival of the fittest must come from somewhere and what they imply is only possible through skillful thinking, isn’t it? Thinking, in our society, is strategic advantage. Or, so I thought.
Recently I’ve come across an interesting YouTube video by Aaron Doughty (link here) wherein he advocates to think less. Yes, you read that right. His theory: Thinking keeps us in the lower vibrational scales of shame, guilt and fear while not thinking (or thinking less) tends to coincide with more positive feelings of peace, joy, and love. He points out that when we’re truly happy, we rarely think, we just are.
Upon reflection, I must admit that there’s at least some truth to that.
Imagine being in love, celebrating a surprise success or enjoying a dream vacation - what do we really think about in these situations? Or do we predominantly just feel? Probably… the latter.
Ruminating on the other hand, thinking excessively about issues and things out of our control, increases our anxiety and preoccupation with uncertain future events.
So far, so good, but is (over-)thinking now bad or beneficial and how can we differentiate when to apply (over-)thinking and when to let go? I cordially invite you to explore some views on thinking together.
“Outward” thinking opens us up to manipulation. “Inward”thinking frees us from it
Excessive rumination, when directed at complex, multifaceted and inherently ambiguous external circumstances, depending on the problem at hand, has the potential to limit our personal agency. When (over-)thinking about the complexities of human behavior for example, we might never, or at least not quickly, arrive at a non-ambiguous conclusion, which keeps us trapped in a state of analysis paralysis.
Take manipulation for example, people who seek to manipulate and gaslight do so by attempting to create cognitive dissonance in us.
Cognitive dissonance
[psychology]: Noun. A state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioral decisions and attitude change.[Oxford Languages]Cognitive dissonance in practice often means to hold two or more contradictory thoughts at the same time and to have our mind continually ponder back and forth between them. Mental multitasking is a desirable idea, but in the end a far-spread myth. Our minds need clarity and we’re by human nature not fantastically skilled at dealing with uncertainty.
This is precisely why it’s hard for us to have our point of view challenged or our opinion discounted - it forces us to question the validity of our assumptions and ability to reason, and most importantly it introduces us to alternative views of the world that we then need to reconcile with our existing beliefs.
Due to the multitude of reasonable explanations and the inherent complexity of life, the simplicity our mind craves appears no longer available to us.
Of course: We need to face ambiguity and pluralistic views, otherwise political debates would never be resolved in a way that reflects the diverse needs of many.
Nonetheless, thinking directed toward our inner state (instead of at the complexities in our external environment), holds great benefits for everyday life. Our inner feelings and emotions, provided that we listen to them, never lie. They’re never ambiguous, uncertain or unavailable to us and in an overwhelming number of instances in retrospect have lead us to the right decisions.
When faced with two or more seemingly contradictory or irreconcilable thoughts, it’s at least the most efficient solution to direct our thoughts inwardly toward our feelings about something, thereby creating distance from our emotions and objectifying them. By subsequently following our internal guidance, we free up valuable mental and emotional energy otherwise tied up by rumination. Mental and emotional energy is currency: We need to spend it wisely.
Why we may think LESS when stressed
Stress
Noun. A state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances.
[Oxford Languages]I personally like this definition of stress very much because it provides us with the number one most effective de-stress method if I’ve ever encountered.
We may not be able to eliminate our adverse or demanding circumstances but -If we remove the state of mental or emotional strain (or tension) in us by stopping excessive thinking then we de-stress automatically because we have then cut the cause-effect logic between circumstances and mental state.
Although admittedly oversimplified, it’s sometimes beneficial to say: “I can’t change it anyways so I let it go”. Through the body-mind connection, the body naturally follows the relaxation of the mind, and we’ll feel recharged again to tackle what’s ahead of us.
Thinking and the Dunning-Kruger effect
New situations always require consideration because our brain’s synaptic pathways are not yet connected to apply “mental muscle memory” and problem-solve by drawing on past experiences.
As with anything new, we need to learn it first which requires mental effort. Not thinking things through in new situations could land us in very uncomfortable situations: We never want to rest on the peak of what some term “Mount Stupid” - and be too self-assured to realize it.
The Dunning-Kruger effect describes the mental bias that humans tend to overestimate their skills and competence while actually having very little knowledge about a problem. The little information that they do have is easy to digest, instilling a false sense of competency, superiority and even hubris. That’s how the term “Mount Stupid” was coined.
Self-awareness is required to discern when we’re proficient at something and when we still need to learn. If in doubt, it’s always better to acknowledge gaps in our competency than to make overconfident but potentially under-substantiated claims. Adults, in particular when they’re true experts in their field, will have no trouble demasking us.
Thinking and feeling deeply is not a weakness but a trait deserving of more recognition
We all know, there’s arguably a certain kind of person that happens to get confronted with the “accusation” being an overthinker more often than others: Empaths and people with a particularly finely tuned central nervous system, Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) [both are not mutually exclusive, as most empaths are high in HSP traits and vice versa].
Empaths and HSPs, with their superpower to detect even the subtlest of nuances and factor them into their decisions and behavior, are known to be phenomenal listeners, consultants and strategic thinkers. But unless placed in an environment where these traits are actually valued as unique skills, being different from the majority in terms of how their brains process information, empaths and HSPs might feel like the odd man out.
Dear fellow empaths and highly sensitives, please don’t feel that your traits are bad and no, you also don’t need to “toughen up”: Our “overthinking” is due to how our nervous systems are wired and it’s an innate gift - not a burden - if we manage stress and take good care of ourselves. We can still benefit from learning to let go here and there but generally speaking, being sensitive and considerate due to thinking and feeling deeply are traits society needs more of, not less.
“Thinking too little about things or thinking too much both make us obstinate and fanatical.” - Blaise Pascal
I believe that there’s some truth to that (over-)thinking tends to correlate with lower emotional states while thinking less may raise our vibration. We tend to emanate a more attractive aura and personal magnetism if our mind is lighter and more carefree. For natural-born overthinkers (like myself), it can also be empowering and freeing to be reminded that it’s okay to occasionally just “let go”.
Nonetheless, “ignorant bliss” and being cold, unempathetic or insensitive isn’t something we should adopt. Maintaining our ability to discern when we must think things through and factor in additional information (as well as the views and needs of others) is key.
Thinking too much and thinking too little can both, if we’re not mindful, lead us down dangerous paths. Some situations require due consideration and others allow us to let go - our true power lies in our humility to differentiate the two.
RELATED: FROM THE ARCHIVES 📚
I love this!!
One of the questions I'm often asked is, can too much self-awareness be a bad thing. I always answer by saying that when we get stuck in layers 1 and 2 of my self-awareness definition, i.e. reflection and recognition, then we slip in to rumination. And that's not great. if however, we can maintain the momentum into layer 3, regulation (of our behaviour) then that self-awareness has purpose and is constructive.
So, for me rumination is the practice of self-awareness that's got stuck!!
Great piece!
Really enjoyed reading this. As a massive over-thinker I always think (again!) that people will find me boring as I’m not that naturally light, effusive person. As an analyst by profession, I do understand that I would never be good at my job if I didn’t overthink. Loved the piece. Very insightful and well-written.